


Real Weird

by Jinkies_Lydia



Series: Riskiest business of Rick's [4]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:19:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5431106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinkies_Lydia/pseuds/Jinkies_Lydia





	Real Weird

You were sitting on the roof outside your bedroom window, drinking a bottle of cheap wine from the bottle. Before getting tipsy though you had tied a rope around your middle and to the leg of your desk….in case you got a little too carried away and wouldn’t roll off the roof and break your neck or back. Currently you were enjoying the view of Rick’s house which suddenly had gone into lock down mode before your eyes, “Oooh that’s going to be quite the story,” you mumble to yourself grinning.

 

“Oh come on Rick, you got to remember me that one time I joined you and your cute girly for a little ménage à trois,” said Frankenstein giving Rick some sort of weird wink and smirk.

“Cute girly? Are you seeing someone dad?” Beth asked shocked, while Miss Refrigerator covered her mouth with one hand, ‘ooohing’ at the juicy gossip. “Rick you dog! You shouldn’t keep things from the family,” Miss Refrigerator teases Rick. 

“Oh don’t give me that look any of you! I’m old not dead, of course I get laid. I haven’t given up on any of life’s pleasures because I’M not married,” Rick crosses his arms giving the household a surly glare before turning his eye on Frankenstein, while Morty muttered under his breath something about Rick’s drugs habits and alcoholism. 

“What did you say again, Frankenstein?” Rick asked the tall reanimated corpse, with a voice as smooth as jazz music, “Rick come on, not in front of the family, but you know….”

For a moment Rick flashed back to an night with a girl...he couldn't quite see her face and her name was a fog in his mind. But she was there, legs wrapped around his waist while laid across that shitty cot of his while he fucked her standing. Then there were clammy hands on his back, huge hands. Hands that roamed up to his shoulders while some thick ice cold cylindrical piece of flesh slide between his-

Rick sent one side of his unibrow up to his hairline, while his mouth puckered in surprise. . “Ew, I don’t want to think about Grandpa Rick’s sex life,” Summer gagged from the other side of the room. 

The room only seemed to grow with more of the zany characters that afternoon, until Morty figured it out that that the parasites could only make good memories. Rick might of sighed from relief of finally having a solution-or from the comfort of knowing he hadn’t added necrophilia to his list of sexual experiences, though the semantics of that question might be up in the air with the reanimation aspect and all. 

 

You had finished off your bottle of wine and were enjoying the tail end of the sunset fading into night when the protective measures on the Smith’s house lifted. The sky faded to night when an ambulance came down the road, blaring its siren. For a moment your heart stopped and you tried to scramble back into the window thinking it might be for your grandparents and you didn’t hear them call for help but it stops in front of the Smith’s house.

You practically almost slide down the shingles losing your footing as your heart dropped again, wondering if it was for Rick, or one of the Smiths. Managing to wobble on your feet across part of the roof for a better look till you ran out of rope you can see who the EMT’s were carting off, “Is that a fucking banana?” you slur to yourself, rubbing at one eye as if it would fix your alcohol impaired vision, “It’s a banana with a top hat, shit they are all crying over it?”

As the ambulance takes off Rick can be heard yelling, “Hang in there Mr. Poopy butthole!” Before the family gets into their car to follow behind the emergency vehicle vehicle. 

That was your cue to put your swimming head to bed. 

 

After dealing with the fiasco that was Beth nearly killing Mr. Poopy butthole and all the parasites, Rick just needed a good old roll in the sheets. And his little neighbor seemed to know when he had an itch to be scratched, as she turned up on his driveway the afternoon after the parasite extermination. 

“Got a story for me?” she asked him, strolling into his lair, eyeing some of the strange colored stains on the floor from the previous day. She stepped around them as she came closer to him. Rick tugged her to him by the loops on her jeans, “I’ll tell ya after we make a bigger mess in here,” he teases her enjoying the way she chuckled while his hands roamed her body. Rick pinched and squeezed every soft pouch or roll of fat with as much zest as he showed to the tougher muscular parts of her too. “Real...real, you are so real it’s got me hard as hell,” Rick growls against the shell of her ear before kissing down her throat, with bruising force. It was like he wanted to eat her up, “Ah geez, Rick, that’s some weird sex lingo” she pants exposing her throat to him more. 

“Just go with it,” Rick mumbled against her skin, undoing her jeans button. By the end of the afternoon there wasn’t a spot on her body he hadn’t lavished with attention and the mantra, “real”. She sat straddling his lap at the end of it, while they caught their breath. “So do I get that story now?” she asked once more, and Rick was fine obliging her request. 

Rick might of seen a flash of pale red and brown in the garage door window, but his eyes weren’t exactly what they use to be. He also might not of given enough of a shit to deal with the snoopers he ‘might’ of seen looking in on him.


End file.
